The Dynamic Exchange of Letting Go & Holding On

I love to water ski; I’m extremely determined and always get up the first time out for the summer. The driver and the boat work together. I just hold on to the rope, strive for balance, and stand up at just the right time. It seems simple enough, but I’ve been skiing since I was a little girl with pretty white and pink skis with a rope that tied the two skis together so I would learn how exactly to hold my skis in the water. Aligned to perfection, the rope with the perfect amount of space between the two skis training me how it feels to stand on water. And now in my thirties, no rope needed just the invisible one in my mind.

As I glide across the water, I stay behind the wake. I like it there because it feels safe on rougher water. I hold on until I can’t anymore and then I let go. I throw my hands in the air and I sink gradually into the water with confident ease because I know exactly how to let go and when to let go. No bad fall or choking from lake water up my nose; over the years you learn how to give it your best go, hang on for the ride, and then let go.

I think about skis etched in my mind simple and lovely, I think about the rope, the wind in my wet hair and the feeling of being fearless. I couldn’t walk on water, but my tiny frame could hold its own gliding across it as I would give my signals “Slow down daddy. Go faster daddy,” or simply give a quick, goofy wave with a smile as if to say, “Hi daddy, I’m having fun.”

“Wise women know what to hold fast to and what to release, while foolish women hold on fast to what would kill them and release what would bring them life.

Knowing when to let go…and when to hold on. Wisdom is always found in this dynamic exchange.” (Lisa Bevere- Fight Like a Girl)

I feel so fortunate to have wise women of all ages around me; I learn from them and glean from their wisdom. I’ve seen the struggles a mother faces learning to let go of her only son who is know old enough to tread his own path. I see her cringe as she counts the cost for him shedding tears in the altars asking God for help to let go, and as she releases her grip she begs God to hold on to her precious love. If I let go God, will you please hold on? Often enough, this process becomes repetitious as she labors for surrender, praying without ceasing until her prayers are answered.

I’ve watched the barren women wrestling in the altars weeping while a mother nurses her little one in the nursery. I’ve watched the barren woman become a joyful mother of children trying to juggle her new life.

I’ve watched the strong woman who never thought she would be divorced cry with her daughter in the altar who just can’t understand why her Dad left. She holds herself together for her teenagers, but at night she cries herself to sleep.

I’ve watched the couple married for over fifty years that have been together for so long that they resemble one another. They fit with one another in such a way that when the other fades and makes his eternal home without her…she is left wondering what life is supposed to look like without him. I kiss her cheek and think, I miss him too and wonder how you let go of the only love you’ve ever known?

There is not an easy answer to letting go, no simple equation or formula, but I know that it begins and ends with placing our trust in a God who knows best and yet is so hard to fathom sometimes. If only it could be as simple as letting go of a rope and sinking into warm waters with flickers of sunlight illuminating the water with the smell of summertime and laughter in the air.

Even still He whispers hope in the ears of those who weep promising that He will never leave us or forsake us even when earthly fathers and mothers walk out on their children leaving question marks that last a lifetime, even when cancer strikes a child who is only eight draining his body from life and his childhood, even when your only son becomes a prodigal. A mother’s prayers still go up touching the heart of God and a widow’s tears are never unnoticed when heaven comes early for the love of their life.

This dynamic exchange of knowing when to let go and when to hold on is difficult, I can’t tell you what exactly that you need to let go of in your life, but I will tell you what you can hold onto.

You can hold on to God.

You can trust in God.


(If you would please take the time to pray for the Teis Family, Johnny is eight and was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor last May. The doctor’s have given him six months to live and our hearts are broken for this family, yet inspired by their amazing faith in God.)