Three-inch Heels & Leadership

I stayed up late last night, no I wasn’t weeping over the Super Bowl loss or the fact that the Peas butchered “I Had the Time of My Life.” Although, I can assure you they both caused me some lamenting. Poor Peas, within minutes of their performance they were being ripped to shreds and I’m thinking they need to sing, “Where is the Love” one more time for all the haters.

...My mind was replaying the events of the day, like a pause and rewind button working together to show me the things locked away in my heart. A question of knowing if I held the remote button in my hands long enough with my finger on the pause button…would I like what I see?

Yesterday was a great day for me, church with the people that I love like family, a jam session with the most talented set of musicians, then a football game with the best food, decorations, and the best friends a girl could ask for. I could cry counting my blessings and believe me, I often do.

So, with all my warm, fuzzy feelings and sugary sweet thoughts…why would I waste my time thinking about mid-day yesterday, and the pressure that comes when everyone has opinions and expectations, yet no one really knows what is expected of them? The end result of meetings and coming together to make something better was positive. But, I was troubled and trying to find my place in leadership, the gentle balance of knowing when to lead and when to follow. And if I am to step up and lead, can I lead freely and seamlessly without the expectations and chains wrapped around me by other peoples expectations? Does talent and expertise trump anointing? I don’t think so. Both are vital. And yet everything we offer up to God in service is just water until He turns it into wine. My talent is mere ashes until God breathes life into it.

When growth happens in leadership it doesn’t come without pains. And I’m feeling some pain and stretching. It’s not a bad thing, but I have been brought up to be the “Christian nice girl." Don’t get me wrong, I like being the Christian nice girl, and yet I know the power of a nice, Southern gal who is ticked off. All of those feelings, even the not-so-nice ones, show me that something is off; something needs to be confronted and dealt with. And sometimes that means, staring deeply into a mirror and not forgetting what I look like.

“Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it-not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it- they will be blessed in what they do.” (James 1:22-25)

Every good story has a beginning, middle, and an end. I’m living life in my “middle” thriving in my thirties, laughing at my twenties at the sweet little Christian girl who tried to be all things to all people until her health and loss revealed a better way to live. I thrive because I crave the hand of my Maker in my life, I thrive because I have a small network of incredible women pouring into me as I pour out my life in ministry. And I cringe because I’m a woman in the middle who still has so much to learn with a string of watching “daughters” wondering what it looks like to walk out our Christianity, our femininity, with the call of God on our lives.

Oh, Lord, let me walk worthy of the call you have placed on my life whether I’m in my three-inch heels or in my stretchy pants and mom-clothes. Your daughters are watching and they crave godly leadership and a nurturing touch. May they know their worth and value-that they are not just a pretty face or a pretty voice, you desire to lead them into truth.