Thankful

As I type my baby is talking to me trying her best not to fall asleep. It's way too late for a five-year-old to be up. But today is a day to throw the bedtime routine out the window and enjoy family. It's a time to enjoy the stories you've heard a million times, but still laugh at just as hard as when it first happened. It's a time to wear your sweat pants and not care about what you look like because you are with family. They have seen you at your best,they have seen you at your worst,and they still love you. Worn out and tired from a long trip and yet seeing the faces of the ones you love make it worth it.

To my mother-in-law I am a daughter-in-love, not an outsider although almost thirteen years ago I wondered how I would fit. Love has a way of making it fit. Don't you just love that?

My heart is overwhelmed with gratitude for many reasons.

I’m thankful for little hands that make big messes and sleepy voices that whisper, “I love you Mom,” just before they fall asleep.
 
I’m thankful for the way my Grandmother smells when I kiss her cheek.
 
I’m thankful for arms that were once empty who daily embrace fulfilled promises of God.
 
I’m thankful for loving so much that it hurts.
 
I’m thankful for laughing so hard that I cry.
 
I’m thankful for friends who share my crazy God-sized dreams.
 
I’m thankful for my husband and best friend who has made me better, stronger, and perhaps a bit smarter.
 
I'm thankful for a mother that still looks at me like I'm sixteen every time I get in a vehicle.

I'm thankful for “other mothers” who nurture and for hearts knit together by God in such a special way.

I'm thankful for the realization that even though I thought I was fine and had everything that I needed, God knew better and sent someone my way.

I'm thankful for a Savior and for a calling to live my life by giving it away. I'm thankful, Heavenly Father, for showing me at such a young age that You are real. You are a father to the fatherless, You are a finder of lost things, You a hovering God who wraps me up and warms me to my core. Oh, how I love You.

My heart is filled with gratitude.

Words to Embrace

Words are so powerful. When aptly spoken they bring nourishment to the aching soul. When spoken recklessly they have the power to change the course of someone’s future. Hurting hearts carry around those reckless words:

I wish you were never born.

If I could go back in time…I would.

You will never be good enough.

Words that cut leave invisible scars for the untrained eye, but not if God gives you the discernment to spot what a broken heart looks like.

A broken heart says, I’m not really sure how to accept your love so when you get close enough that it scares me; I’ll shut you out.

A broken heart says I’ll reject you first before you reject me, for I’m certain that is what is coming next.

A broken heart becomes a builder of walls to keep others locked outside, insulated by loneliness because the silence feels safer.

A former “broken girl” knows what a broken girl looks like. And as we reach our different levels of healing, peeling back the layers until we get to the surface of where it all started…we become free. But, I truly believe it’s not so that we can forget the broken girl that we used to be but to set the captives free by the power of our testimony. (Heb 1:3)

There has to be a time where you shut out the voices that cut knowing that those words are not from God. There has to be a time when you forgive the hurting person that ripped your heart in two. There has to be a time when you replace the reckless words with the truth. The truth that you are loved, that you are valuable, that you were never a mistake.

Embrace the words that are straight from the heart of God.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Ps 139:14)

You are the treasure of my heart, who every touches you touches the apple of my eye. (Zec 2:8)

You are worth dying for, so I sent my only Son just for you.

Beloved,

God simply adores you!

Be Near

I was listening to one of my life’s song tonight, “Be Near” by Shane and Shane. I wanted to share it with you.

Sometimes we forget how big God is, we seat Him in heavenly places far from our needs when He is a God that longs to be near. He’s the God that stands at a door without a knob knocking loud enough for you to hear yet soft enough for you to drown out with the distractions of this world. There is but one way for Him to get in and you are that ticket in. You have to open the door to Him.

“Darkness is light to Him. The depths are height to Him. Far is near…but, Lord I need to hear from you. Be near.”

When all feels dark around you, He will be your light. When you revisit your dreaded time in the pit, just know He is the hand that pulls you out. When the world tells you that God alone is not enough to satisfy your thirsty soul, remember that He is the living water and your bread of life.

“Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. For indeed, those who are far from You perish, You have destroyed all those who desert You for harlotry.

But, it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all Your works.” (Ps 73:25-28 NKJV)

Whatever you may be facing right now, just know that you have a God that longs to be near to you in your times of trouble. He is the God who restores the broken, who takes mourning and turns it into dancing and rejoicing. He is the God that loves you no matter what. Nothing can separate you from His love.

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” (James 4:8)

Beloved,
He longs to carry you,
To lift you up with those strong, nail scarred hands.
Let Him.

Senorita Cranky-pants and Lattes

Where do I start? While everyone is counting down how many days until Christmas and breaking out their cute knee-high fashionable, Fall boots and talking about how happy they are that the Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back on the menu I’m feeling a less than jolly. It’s not that I don’t adore the fall colors. Nothing inspires me more. I don’t mind a little chill in the air and a big bulky sweater. I love all those things.

The change in the weather brings illness and I’m pretty much done with all of that. Colds, strep throat, tummy bugs…we experienced it all and it’s only early November! Perhaps that’s why I haven’t wanted to blog or do much of anything but be a big fat baby.

I long to be inspired to change some things around me. I must first start with my focus and perspective. I know I have been looking at things through clouded eyes. So I pray for wisdom knowing that I will always be praying the will of God when I ask for knowledge that comes from God alone.

I don’t understand why every October I find myself feeling a little blue. But, God always sees me through every step. Trust me, so many times I want a magic pill to make it all go away and yet I know that what I feel on the inside is so mild compared to what others face on a day to day basis.

I don’t want to be numb. I want to feel things deeply, whether it’s joy or pain. I want salty tears running down my face and sheer determination to pray without ceasing. I want to take God at His word and use it as a weapon to defeat that fool of a devil who messes with God’s children.

If it’s my frosty breath whispering a prayer while tears freeze on my face, I’m okay with that because I am His.

In my recent trip to Cranky-town, my heart has turned towards you. I don’t know what you may be facing or going through. But I just want to tell you something…

God adores you.

Every fiber and facet of who you are was by God’s design, fashioned and formed on purpose, with great purpose.

You are not alone.

He knows exactly where you are. He will shelter you in His shadows and there is no safer place than with the Almighty.

Are you like me, is it time for new perspective and a change in focus?

I have bid farewell to Senorita Cranky-pants. I’m dusting off my adorable boots and meeting some friends for chat session over…you guessed it, Pumpkin Spice lattes.

Love you guys like crazy!