When God Wrestles & Storms

When life seems cloudy and the storm rages, you whisper to yourself, “I’m still broken.” Confronted by fear and loneliness, maybe even shame. Face-to-face with your stormy past, and all you can wrap your mind around is the replay of events telling you just how much you have fallen short. You’re tossed about like the wind from years of trying to fake it and cover it up with another layer of makeup and a plastic smile. You figured out how to look the part, while on the inside you were torn apart. The scars that you thought had healed feel exposed and tender and they whisper louder, “Why haven’t you taken care of me long before now?”

When hurt runs deep, run to the refuge.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, even though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; though its waters roar and be troubled. Though the mountains shake with its swelling.
There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God. God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved…

The Lord of host is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge.” (Ps 46:1-7 NKJV)

The God of Jacob is our refuge! The God of the one who wrestled and walked with a limp to prove it, that same God is our refuge from the storm. Perhaps you have been wrestling with God, desperately seeking to hold onto something that does not belong in your hands.

Your future, your destiny, and your hopes are wrapped up in something besides the perfect will of God and so you wrestle.

You wrestle wanting blessings.

You wrestle wanting peace.

But, after you wrestle, do you walk with a limp?

A changed name?

A changed character?

“Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the break of day. Now when He saw that He did not prevail against him, He touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacob's hip was out of joint as He wrestled with Him.” (Gen 32:24)

Let me go.

Not until you bless me.

When Jacob got up worn out from wrestling he walked with a limp. This symbolizes a character transformation that required a death of ego, a death of pride. Sometimes we wrestle because change has to take place deep within. We have to go there, let hurt run deep with sorrowful repentance, and say to the God of Jacob, “When this storm passes…I want to walk differently.”

Like Jacob, you have a birthright that is not rightfully yours. Your birthright has been brokenness. But, friend, you are worth so much more than that. Sometimes we wrestle with God more than we wrestle with our flesh and our pride. Let Him speak to your heart, run to the refuge. Let Him change the way you walk…let Him change your birthright of brokenness to wholeness!

I am praying for you!

Love,
Jennifer

Wilderness Places and Lack

We all have our wilderness places carved out by time and heartache that remind us that we are lacking. Most of us are completely oblivious to what we are truly lacking, yet we feel it gnawing at us. That empty place that we assumed we could fill up with things that could never truly satisfy. Everywhere we turn we are painfully aware that we don’t belong here in a place called Lacking.

Lacking: missing, absent, not there, wanting, deficient.

The wilderness place reveals what is tucked away deep inside, it spills to the surface in the form of salty tears. Going around in circles with spinning memories that we have been here before in the land of “there has to be more.” We are not the only ones who wander. In Deuteronomy 8 God wanted to remind his people how He led the Israelites for forty years in the desert.

“He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna…to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.” (v. 3)

I don’t want to wander around in circles when I know that God wants to lead me to better places, a place in Christ where I lack nothing because I know exactly who sustains me.

“For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land- a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills, a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing…” (v. 7-9)

After years of feeding on the same thing, God was listing off things that would prove that there would be no shortage. No lack. Springs flowing. Nothing but promise, yet He wanted His people to remember Him, to serve Him wholly.

We serve a God who longs to lavish blessings upon us taking us past our unpleasant dwelling place of lacking to a place of fullness.

Fullness: filled to capacity, with much or many, greatest in extent, with nothing missing.

“Oh fear the Lord, you His saints! There is no want to those who fear Him. Young lions lack and suffer hunger. But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.” (Ps 34:9-10)

If you find yourself in a wilderness place called lacking today, I want you to know that God longs to lead you out. Look up, cry out, and seek the face of God. It’s time to stop walking around in circles; it’s time to start gaining ground. We were not meant to live a defeated life when God has already paid the price for our victory! There is no lack to those who seek Him. What is God trying to teach you in this wilderness place?

No More Chains

The word of God is not chained…Paul penned these words in 2 Timothy 2:9 while he suffered for Christ, wrapped up in chains and in the midst of persecution his words spilled out to Timothy, his beloved son. His words spill out for you and me…the word of God is not chained. It works. It is our lifeline when we wrestle with things we cannot see in the natural. As we war and feel wrapped up in our own invisible chains, Paul offers us hope.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind.” (2 Tim 1:7)

The word of God is not chained by fear or our circumstances. No, it’s powerful and active and alive! We don’t have to fear our invisible chains, because we have a God who makes those chains look like a rubber bands. It’s nothing to Him. He is bigger than the things you are facing right now.

Paul instructs young Timothy of a promise of power and love and sound mind instead of fear. He also tells him to “hold fast to a pattern of sound words which you have heard from me, in faith and love which are in Christ Jesus.” (2 Tim 1:13)

The enemy of our soul wants to rob us from a sound mind and replace our sound words with lies. If we are going to win this battlefield of the mind we have to fight with the word of God and trust in it to work and show us the victory.

For weeks now I have felt like I lost my words and had nothing to say. That’s a scary place to be for a writer who longs to reach out with my words. My source of strength has been the word of God, I have dug deep in His word to wash my mind with His promises and I have found Him faithful…day after day. He is life to me and He wants us to live an unchained life free with our hands lifted high in praise!

He is a God who fights our battles!

His word is not chained and we don’t have to remain in our chains, wrapped up, weak, and heavy with burden.

Ladies,
It’s time to take back our rightful place as daughters, clothed with dignity and strength! Walking in power and love and with sound minds. His word is not chained. This trial that you are facing right now will pass and you will be left standing in a strength that only God can grant you!

I am praying for you!

Much love,
Jennifer

Dwelling Place

“The work of righteousness will be peace, and the effect of righteousness, quietness and assurance forever. My people will dwell in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwelling places, and in quiet resting places.” (Is 32:17-18)

I feel quiet right now, not unsettled, just quiet. As if I am waiting for something to unfold right before me, so I wait. I rest in the God who wants me to dwell in secure places, safely tucked away in the center of Gods will.

Our dwelling place is insecure and empty when we base our worth and our value on the ones around us. We are the temple of the Holy Spirit, not a waste basket filled to overflowing with the trash, the wasted words that tried to define you…the petty persons jealousy of you or the one you love desperately that doesn’t get you.

Our dwelling place needs to be free from voices and opinions that do not reflect the heart of God towards us. A secure dwelling place cannot contain all of the beauty of God and remnants of trash from a life of dumpster diving.

His dwelling place is lovely-
Giving us beauty for ashes
Joy instead of mourning
Dressing us up in praise,
Instead of a heaviness of spirit

Isaiah 61 tells us that we will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.

Oh, how deep our roots must go in Christ to find the nourishment of soul to grow big and strong. I want to be the display of His splendor. I want to dwell in peaceful places with the full assurance that God is the one who holds my hand. I don’t want to be like the wind. I want to be planted, grounded in Christ.

If you feel like you are standing on shaky ground right now, I encourage you to wrap yourself up in these words. With God we trade up every time…beauty for ashes. Joy instead of mourning. Praise instead of heaviness.

Spend some time at His feet!

“How lovely is your dwelling place, Lord Almighty!” (Ps 84:1)

Daughters of Destiny

I wish I could take you on a little journey to see a broken girl who liked to hide, terribly insecure and timid, unable to look you in the eye. When she measured herself she only saw someone who didn’t measure up, someone who wasn’t smart enough or good enough. But, oh how the King longed to make her a daughter, a child of promise as He turned ashes and heartache into beauty and a melody that made her heart sing.

When life left a mark, He erased the sting. When life left her breathless, He breathed new life and filled her lungs with promise and destiny. When the world whispered, “You are worthless.” He whispered, “You are worth it.”

It’s hard to believe that child was me. And when I revisit my past, God reminds me of my future.

The Father wraps us in robes of righteousness and garments of salvation (Is 61:10) as He makes us heirs and joint heirs with Christ. He takes away our symbol of shame and lowly status and sets us in a God-given position of authority. He brings warm embraces and women of valor to remind us that we are daughters of the King, speaking words of wisdom straight from the heart of God.

You have been placed on this earth for such a time as this.

You are worth it.

The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord. (Prov 45:11)

Daughters of destiny, it is time for us to start believing that God has an unbelievable inheritance for us!


“This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us-an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard time with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!” (Romans 8:15-17 The Message)

I'm with you asking, "What's next, Papa?"

Much love,
Jennifer

Broken Wings and Broken Things

It’s amazing how God takes the broken things around me to speak to me. It’s a language I understand, the language of the broken girl trying to cover up her brokenness with another layer of makeup, a cute outfit, and a plastic smile. Going through motions with the false appearance of having it all together while on the inside you crumble wondering if anyone sees it.

Weeks ago, my daughters released Painted Lady butterflies right outside our front door. My daughters turned their attention away from the butterflies that flew without hesitation to scoop up the two butterflies with broken wings with such compassion and gentleness that it made me want to cry while the others took to the wind without hesitation because it was what they were created to do. I remembered when I felt just like the butterflies with broken and tattered wings to wounded to know what freedom and soaring above it all felt like.

Imagine that wing, tattered and malformed, is a fist. The deeper it hurts the tighter you clench it, hold it up in the air and shake it. Inside your palm are fragments of the past that you can’t forgive. Things that seems worth holding onto, tiny enough to be unnoticeable. But it grows roots and claws that wrap around you, trapping you and choking out the life…the beauty…the fullness that God has in store.

Anger and the inability to forgive cripple a heart that longs to soar above it all. A crippled heart limps through life and even though you think no one else can see, God sees it and says, “Do you want to be made well?”

I don’t know who has wounded you crippling your heart so that a wall encases what God meant to showcase. But, when you let go, choose to forgive, the fist relaxes and the vines that entangled you are uprooted setting you free.

Healing comes when you admit that you are the walking wounded.

Healing comes when you learn to forgive yourself and others.

Healing comes when you release it, unclenched and unhindered. Then what once was tattered becomes stronger than ever, something useful as you soar on wings like eagles.

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” (Is40: 29-31 NIV)

Irreplaceable, A Crayon Card for Mom

Can I confess to you that I'm a stay-at-home mom who loathes housework? I can assure you that when I colored my picture in grade school of what I wanted to be when I grow up it did not have someone scrubbing toilets and conquering mounds of laundry. It probably had a picturing of a girl with a huge smile on her face wearing a tiara prancing around her castle feeling treasured. But, today my castle is much smaller with dishes in the sink and tiny shoes belonging to little princesses that haven't learned how to pick up after themselves yet. There are days when being a mom is a thankless job and then there are days that I can't hold back the tears because I'm grateful that I get the privilege of hearing “Mommy” a million times. Yes, there are days where I want to pull my hair out, lock myself in the bathroom and never come out. We all have those days where we feel replaceable, invisible, and under-valued.

Saturday night I heard my little girls whispering something to their daddy. I tried not to listen, but I have super powers and “Mom ears” that hear just about everything.

“Can we give it to her now?”

He knows that they get the trait of being unable to wait from me and gives them the go ahead.

They came into the room with the sweetest smiles and their hands behind their backs, “Here Mommy.”

I opened the cards they made and began to sob as I wrapped them up in my arms. I didn't see that coming.

“I love you, Mom. I could never replace you.”

My response took them by surprise. To be honest with you, it took me by surprise too. Spilling out from within me was the awareness that I am not replaceable. I am not invisible. I am loved as the flawed mother that I am.

As I wept my oldest smiled as I whispered, “It's happy tears.”

She ran into the other room to tell Daddy that the cards were a huge success while my baby wiped my tears and held me. She kissed my wet face and said the words she couldn't write on the card in crayon.

“No one could be gooder than you.”

Forget Mother-of-Year, perfection does not live in my home. Love does.

Moms, you are not replaceable. You are not invisible. You are treasured. You are loved. No one could do it better than you do. Set aside your need to make everyone think you have it all together, let a few things pile up, let love fill your home as you aspire to be the Proverbs 31 woman.

You are irreplaceable.

“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Prov 31: 28-29