Thursday, March 10, 2011

Southern Charm




When I think of my mom’s side of the family, I think of one show…Designing Women. They are smart, they are beautiful, and they are Southern perfection, or at least the closest thing to it. But, imagine if you can, adding to the mix a huge helping of heartbreak, restoration, and finding God’s favor. And there you have a picture of my mother and her sisters.

Before I had my first run in with big hair and training bras, I faithfully watched Designing Women. Being a southern gal, naturally I adored the southern charm, big hair, and overdone makeup. I loved all the characters, but my absolute favorite was Julia Sugarbaker. I loved her confidence and her wit. But, what I loved the most was her gift for verbal sparring. Julia stood up for what she believed in, and heaven help the man or woman that stood in her way. She was a force to be reckoned with, and if provoked, she could give a verbal spanking and look good while doing it.

Of course, there were other sweeter, softer characters that I identified with as well, perhaps because it seemed proper and safe. But, I think the reason why I love Julia so much is because she reminds me of my mom. And when I am provoked or pushed, I sound much like that. I feel a strength inside that I didn’t know I had. There is no need to cry, or act that a three-year-old when you can use your words. Not to rip a person to shreds, but to stand up for something that you believe in so deeply.

I’m a passionate person, when I love something it runs deep. When I love someone, it’s till death. And when I’m wrong I can admit it, correct it, and grow from it. It’s the joy of becoming better and knowing that when I lay my head down at night, I am right with God. I am following His lead, and that is the only thing I hang my confidence on.

Today I got a call from someone that I adore, she had the rare treat of watching me deal with a difficult situation. To be perfectly candid with you, I was nervous that perhaps I was a little too feisty in front of this lady who is the picture of sugary sweetness. Needless to say, when words were hurled at me…I held my ground. I amazed myself; I kind of felt like Julia. It was delightfully shocking. My dear friend and I laughed about a not-so-funny moment and assured one another that we were not the train-wreck we were made to feel like. And then she offered me the sweetest of gift of telling me how proud she was of me as she quoted her favorite one-liners from our meeting, which I dare not repeat...

This big haired, Southern girl who used to pick up her skirt and run at the first sight of conflict just tackled something huge. It didn’t turn out how I had hoped, but I’m fairly confident that I walked away with something much better than getting my way. I walked away with a greater understanding that I have no right to lay claim to a title, position, or mark my territory like a yellow, yard dog. I’m clothed with dignity and strength, and you better believe that I can laugh at the days to come. Everyday is a gift that I offer up to God, even the bad ones. The days where you let go of a dream, to gain the understanding that the promise land is headed right for you. And it is way better than what you thought you had always wanted. So, you watch with wide-eyed wonder and never give up.

Tonight I would like to pay tribute to one of my favorites by quoting Miss Julia Sugarbaker.

“Yes, you can give him a message. You do take shorthand, don't you? Good, we take it in the South, too. Anyway, just tell him that I have been a Southerner all my life, and I can vouch for the fact the we do eat a lot of things down here ... and we've certainly all had our share of grits and biscuits and gravy, and I myself have probably eaten enough fried chicken to feed a Third World country -- not to mention barbecue, cornbread, watermelon, fried pies, okra, and, yes, if I were being perfectly candid, I would have to admit we have also eaten our share of crow. And for all I know, during the darkest, leanest years of the Civil War, some of us may have had a Yankee or two for breakfast. But ... speaking for myself and hundreds of thousands of my Southern ancestors who have evolved through many decades of poverty, strife and turmoil, I would like for Mr. Weaks to know that we have surely eaten many things in the past, and we will surely eat many things in the future, but -- God as my witness -- we have never, I repeat, never eaten dirt!”

2 comments:

  1. Alright Ms. Sugarbaker! I'm so proud of you, and I'm praying you rub off on me. I'm still running with my skirt tucked between my legs.
    ;-)

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  2. You are so funny...you have so much strength in you too. We just have to know when it's time for battle and when it's time to retreat...and cry like a girl and call upon the sisterhood. (Wink) God is so good to be our defender and our stamp of approval.

    Ms. Sugarbaker

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